January 29, 2012

A Few More Hormones: The Year of "No"

I'm not particularly fond of New Year's Resolutions. They are typically quite finite; and, being such, just do it already and quit waiting for the ball to drop to start over. Instead, I favor the idea of a one word theme. Something that will encompass many things that you do. My co-worker, who has become the day version of my husband as she deals with my ramblings and provides checks and balances - reasoned out the possible themes for both of us. Mine is the year of "No". It started as "No - but not negative". Then it became "No - with a positive redirection". And then I said, "No" (fitting)... it's just going to be plain "No".

As I thought about that process, I realized I was qualifying the "No" (defeating the purpose of the one-word theme) because somehow as human beings we feel bad about negative spin. And similarly, we feel bad when we say "No". We always say "Yes" which usually leads to over extension and exhaustion, to which we then complain, defeating the whole point of saying "Yes" in the first place!

And now it leads me here... That same co-worker shared the below article with me which I found so poignant given the timing in my life. And here are my takeaways: There is often this mythical standard that leads us all to want to pretend we live our life in a magazine article. We live our life so that at any moment if US Weekly were to interview us (yes, I know there are more sophisticated publications), we could use all the cliches about love that you would find in a Hallmark card about our marriages / relationships and that, yes, we had quinoa with dried fruit for breakfast, steamed spinach with salmon at lunch, and a juice cleanse drink for dinner, snacking only on almonds throughout the day. **Okay - that last part I know exists for some (my sister for one), but really for the most of the people in US Weekly, it's just the line you are "supposed" to use. We become so wrapped up in what we are supposed to say, feel, do, that it ends up being just a plan or process that we are here to execute, less than about just living your life and owning every part of it good or bad!

Take a read, have a chuckle, don't feel bad that you agree in part. Strive to do be better and be better, but don't forget to take a step back and realize - it's not half bad...

Footnote regarding my co-worker: My hope is to have her guest author on this blog at some point as she and her husband will soon be the author(s) of the following books I've encouraged them to title: I Don't Even Own a F**king Crockpot: A City Mom's Guide to Parenting (her version) and 12 Grey T-shirts: A City Dad's Guide to Simplified Parenting (his version). We're just trying to find the right time to meet with Simon & Schuster.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html

January 24, 2012

Post-Season Update: Playoffs?

And there you have it. The NFL Playoffs - done and done!

Playoffs are an interesting concept. You play 16 games to get to the post-season, only to have it all come down to one game.

I most certainly took a bit of a hiatus during the playoffs as I just couldn't make sense of who was there! Cincinnati Bengals? San Francisco 49ers? Denver Broncos? Detroit Lions?

The San Francisco 49ers and the Baltimore Ravens suffered heart breaking losses. Your heart has to go out to Billy Cundiff and Lee Evans of the Ravens. I've never really been able to trust kickers... and obviously with just cause. When I was a coach's daughter, those moments that came down to a field goal usually sent me into the back corner of our laundry room. I'd crouch down on the floor by the dryer with my ears plugged and wait for some sort of indication from Taylor. This time, I was sitting front and center. I was on the phone relaying the play-by-play to my mother who was in transit at the airport; and, I just dropped the phone. Impossible that he would miss a 32 yard kick.

Kyle Williams suffered the same ill fate with the 49ers fumbling the ball on a punt return, putting the New York Giants in field goal range. His face looked like he had lost his last friend, and he may have. It was a tough day for the Harbaugh family.

The end to those games would have put me in mourning for days. I probably would have cried spontaneously reliving it all. But, as my father always told me in those moments (when he was having to console me ironically), "a game never boils down to one play". There were a series of events in both of the games on Sunday that led to those moments. What could have been? For the Ravens, they could have made that kick and very well gone on and lost in OT. The 49ers fumble was a bit more of a nail in the coffin and harder to reason out, but the 49ers had an opportunity to score prior to that in OT and didn't get it done then either. There are 60 minutes of regulation football. As much as the papers plastered those players faces on the front pages - it wasn't just them.

Life's Lesson from Football: When faced with what appears to be a pivotal moment in life, be confident and decisive (and don't hide in the fetal position in the corner of your laundry room), but don't overvalue the place it holds in the greater context of your body of work. Life never comes down to just one moment, but rather a chain of events that simply leads you there.

Post Script - Tebow still isn't that good...

January 2, 2012

Week #17: Black Monday

There's the proverbial day after the holidays... Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Lay in Bed Because I Drank Too Much Day after NYE. In the NFL, there is Black Monday. The Monday after the final regular season game when the fate of coaches around the league is decided.

Not every man deserves to coach in the NFL,
only because not every many can.
We are all essentially one pay check away from our last on any given day, but in the NFL it comes with a certainty that is both eerily accepted and inevitable. For whatever reason, it's an industry where it's okay for the public to make signs from bed sheets at home calling for your head. How would you like it to show up to work and have people yell over your shoulder that you failed, you're a profanity and want to (as we heard once on KFAN radio in Minneapolis) tie you to the back of a pick up truck and drag you around the stadium until the gas ran out. Explain that one to your 5 year old.

We experienced our own Black Monday in 2008, which came down with the slam of a guillotine. Completely unexpected and out of the blue - or black should I say.  It's moments like those that makes the fact Sports Center runs over and over and over quite nauseating. But, as our family does, you put it behind you and you just keep moving forward, even when every one else won't let you. And so we have for the last 4 years.

This year will bring about 6 maybe 7 firings, could be more. There are the expected (St. Louis having already taken place) and there is always one that is the shocker. I could make my predictions, but you try not to make it a habit of speculating who is to lose their job. Some will happen quick and fast - decisions already probably made, yet not announced. Some coaches are already behind closed doors now, preparing to clean out their office. There are others who will have to wait. Owners and GMs who aren't sure the right course, wanting to see who else falls, to see who will be on the "market"... That waiting is painful.

It's the time of year that is always interesting for us. Is he going back or is he not? If you're a betting person, you'd say no. But, we can't place bets on the NFL. Do I want him to go back? Probably not; but, once a coach always a coach - which leaves us asking, "What's next?"

Life's Lesson: It's worth risking it all only if you are prepared to lose it all.